photographer: @victoriarayu

The overthinking overthinker

Hi. My name is Stelyana and I’m an overthinker.

I can also almost hear you say “Hi, Stelyana” in return.

I’ve also gone over all the other possibilities of what else you may think right now, what you might say or do, and thought of all the ways this could go through by analyzing every possibility I can think of. Welcome to my head. 

photographer: @victoriarayu

Okay, now seriously.  

I’ve spent so much of my time thinking that I’ve reached places inside my brain I never knew existed. Thinking about how much I overthink things and realizing it, I guess makes me an overthinking overthinker – a person that overthinks one’s overthinking. It’s a real thing, I swear. 

David Spiegel, the director of the Center on Stress and Health at Stanford Health Care, says, “There are times when the worry about the problem is a lot worse than the problem itself.”

And as if an overthinker doesn’t already know that! Listen, there are two paths here. Either you are a normal-thinking person like apparently this David Spiegel, or you are an overthinker and you already thought so much about it that you know it’s a bad thing. You know the more you think about it, the worse it gets.

Truth is, many research statistics show that many overthinkers believe they are doing themselves a favour by cycling through their thoughts, while they actually overstress about it and lead the situation to a negative impact even if one was not about to happen. 

photographer: @victoriarayu

But what they can’t research or put a percentage to, is the fact that real overthinkers do think about the overthinking itself. I know it sounds like sh*t but there is no easier way of explaining this. As an overthinker, trust me, if there was, I’d find it. 

Here’s an example of how it works. 

Option one

There’s a problem. It might be a small one or a big one, but it exists. Now, an overthinker doesn’t like problems. The O (let’s just pretend I typed the long overthinker word) knows it’s natural to have problems. The O isn’t stupid. But still doesn’t like the lack of control over the bad outcomes. So an O starts thinking about how the problem can be resolved. Then he or she comes with some back-up plans about how to resolve it.

But an O can’t be sure about them. So he or she starts thinking about how the problem will impact their lives if it’s not resolved. Anything that can happen as a result of the problem. Some Os believe that this way it will be easier to deal with it. And others simply get lost on the way.

photographer: @victoriarayu

When does it really become a problem? When an overthinker didn’t think of something and it happened anyway. The O thought so much about it that when something they didn’t think of actually happens, it’s scarier than anything. And even if it’s good! The O can’t possibly know if it’s good. Why? Because the O didn’t have time to think about it! Get it? 

Okay, option two.

There is no problem. There is just life. And once upon a time, in life, there was an overthinker. So it’s not just life. It’s why did he say that, why did she cancel, what did they mean by that, how can I do whatever it is I want to do. And please, someone just turn off my thoughts. 

When an O gets in that series of thoughts it just leads to the feeling of not having enough time to overthink. That’s a real thing too! If you are not an overthinker, reading this, first of all, don’t judge. And second of all, all being two, you won’t get this. You won’t understand it. If you are one of those people that love to show-off with how much you are above it all, good for you.

We are really happy for you, but we can’t be like you. We will never be “above it all”. Because ALL is already inside of us. The best thing about being an overthinker (and yes, there are perks), is that we also overlove. We overcare. At least that makes us good. It makes us good partners, good lovers, good friends, and well, good detectives. Because you can never lie to or hide something from an overthinker. 

Jokes aside, don’t ever think an overthinker chooses to be one. If in life, there was a moment when you couldn’t stop something – like eating too much candy, smoking, drinking, drugs, stress, depression, lying, fighting or any other bad habit or addiction you had, you must know, it feels the same way for overthinkers. 

While fighting with the overthinking can be a real struggle for the O, truth is, it’s about time everyone excepts that overthinking is a real thing. It’s a disease. Like anxiety and depression. And overthinking is not something you recover from. The only way to deal with it is to learn how to control it and use it in your favor. The process comes with a lot of thinking but if no one can give us an answer to how to do it, we’ll come up with one. That’s what we do. 

photographer: @victoriarayu

You can find lots of studies that show what helps in these cases – such as meditation, sports, favourite hobbies, etc. But just as any other bad habit – no one can help you put it to end. You are the only one that can decide you no longer want to live like that.

Then only you can find what works best for you. It could be writing your thoughts down, singing about them, or even painting them over your walls. It can also be talking about them, sharing them, and not keeping them to yourself, as one day your head will have no space left to store them. So let them out, set them free. 

With time you’ll find that nothing good comes from wasting your time thinking about things you can’t control, predict, or change. So if you are going to overthink it anyway, at least think about how good it can actually be to just enjoy life instead of thinking about it.

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